I love a good massage, but when traveling, it’s not always flowers and spa music. Here are some of my favorite massage stories, from great to awful! by the Treehouse Dad 
THE BEST
Maui, Hawaii, USA
$130-185/hour
We’ve been testing out massage spots on Maui for decades now. Most are outrageously expensive (ex. at the big resorts) and really not any better than private masseuses. But about 10 years ago, we finally found incredible massages for a great price. Maui’s Best Massage is truly just that.
The location is great because it’s easily accessible for anyone on the south side (Makena, Wailea, Kihei), not more than 30-45 minutes from the West side (Lahaina, Kaanapali, Kapalua), and a short hop from the North side (Kahului, Wailuku, Paia.) Every Masseuse is highly trained and are ready for us right away for our appointments. They ask how hard a pressure we preferred. They knock out some serious knots, and somehow know exactly where they are every time.
If you want the best massage for your money, go to Maui’s Best Massage in Kihei. Book online or call (808) 426-7418. The big resorts charge a lot more for 1/2 the massage. We’re really pleased with every visit. 1993 South Kihei Road, Suite 19 Kihei, HI 96753
THE WORST
Dalian, China
Cost: $25/hour
Visiting friends in the tier 2 city of Dalian, we were taken to the best spot in town for a massage. We walked past a dozen or so piles of burning trash to a dirty sliding glass window in a large industrial building. OK, first signs of discomfort reached. We walk into a small room (100-150 sq ft) with 4 people, and 2 massage tables. Our masseuses were blind (the leading job for blind people in China. In fact, I’m pretty sure this job is reserved for blind people.) We lay down on our respective tables and the massage begins. The massage was actually pretty good (they practice more medicinal massage, which hurts like hell, but I like it.)
2 things that disturbed us. In some massage parlors, the hole you put your face through when lying down sometimes will have a bowl of water and flowers under it for you to look at. My wife had the lovely view of a box holding dirty, smelly jars. She also made the mistake of using the bathroom. She’s still scarred from the experience. Apparently, it was a hole in the ground and the entire room was beyond filthy.
Our massage ended with us getting up and dressed with close to 20 people crammed in the room. Most of them had been smoking and conversing loudly in Mandarin during our last half of the massage. The room was hardly large enough for 4 of us, but they were all fascinated to see westerners in these parts. People were all over, sitting on tables, on file cabinets, and practically squeezed into every nook smoking feverishly. Needless to say, we won’t be getting a massage there again.
THE BEST VALUE
Bali, Indonesia
$5-250/hour (depending on location)
Though you can get massages for as little as $5 on the beach, or as much as $250 at a resort, finding a good masseuse in Bali has nothing to do with price. Most massages you’ll get are by untrained hands trying to make a buck. Even the expensive resort massages (though better than the ones on the beach) sometimes are not all that great.
The best massage we had was at a hole in the wall spot in Seminyak (many of the best spots are in places you wouldn’t think) with a bunch of young girls. My wife and I each had a 4 hand massage (20 fingers each) for 1 1/2 hours at $35 per person. Incredible value because these girls knew what they were doing. If we can find this place again, we’ll be back.
On the other hand, we had a different 4 hand massage at a place in Kuta with a bunch of similar girls. Unfortunately, these ones were loud, laughing and talking the whole time. They were not well trained. We’ll stay VERY clear of this spot.
